buckets and soap boxes..

Its Monday afternoon, just finished the art class at women's refuge, and like my mother says, today is one of those days that the bucket of tears inside my heart is dangerously close to tipping right over..its one thing to talk about how good it is champion these causes and to be involved in our community, in my case, to advocate for these women and children trapped in domestic or gang violence, but its another when the scars and the bruises are literally staring you in the face. And after staring back at that face and life, and really thinking about how those scars and bruises came to be there, a whole new reality sets in.

So I've been on my knees and now I'm getting on my soap box, as opposed to heading straight to the pub to drown these sorrows..

We read in the news about our nation's horrendous child abuse statistics, there are new cases almost daily, and we hear facts like one woman every 2 weeks is killed by a violent partner.. how can so much ugliness and darkness be found in such a small nation like New Zealand? Isn't it all so awful? Absolutely, but it isn't real until we've looked it in the eye. Its all so easy to talk about how bad these issues are, and its easy to voice contempt for these elements of society in our churches or community meetings. But for all our great 'missional intent' we're not making any tangible difference until we are prepared to roll up our sleeves and get amongst it.

It frankly pisses me off how many folk we have in the church arena who are quite willing to spout the popular theology and phrases, tell us all how Jesus would live life in our day, being a friend to sinners and working with the fringe elements, lifting up the broken etc.. yet the majority of these ones that I've listened to haven't even come close to the ghetto's or state housing areas, shelters or community projects. Ask them about their own experience and its an oddly silent response. Their shirts are still bleached white and their shoes are still expensively clean and shiny. Pardon me for my blatant judgement, but they simply haven't walked the talk, and the hypocrisy which has so angered me is now just boiling down to cynicism. If all this talk is not acted upon then it will end up only adding to the weight and burden that so many of these broken lives in the community already carry. Broken promises and hot air. We should not become an affliction with all our good ideas and lack of follow through.

My issue is simply this - it seems that the majority of christians are about making a difference in our world, which really is fantastic, yet where I live in my comfortable western country, it seems that all that is required is just a whole lot of talk to hype people up with good ideas and perhaps the occasional day-long community project. If that really is all it takes then we should quit following Jesus right here and join up with another religion. A 'feel-good' one. If its just about a few good will deeds - we could follow Krishna or become a Buddhist and pat ourselves on the back for being so nice, and then get on with our very comfortable, non-sacrificial lives. (And what a waste of living that would be).

Jesus was all about walking the journey with people, getting in the mud and mire and doing life with them. For as long as it takes. It costs and it really hurts. Its dangerous, messy and some days its almost too hard. But then you learn what love really is all about, and what selflessness means, and just how to carry a little more of Galatians 2v19-20. I've been working for 2 years in a few of these projects and I've only just got started with my learning. I fiercely love these women that I serve at the refuge centre and these gangster high schooler's that I walk alongside every day, just as much as I love any of my own whanau or my closest friends. The love in my heart is indiscriminate. I don't know how to compartmentalise, there just is no 'them' and 'us' in this love. It was only when I'd been spat on, threatened, pushed around and abused, that I began to get a bit of revelation about this journey. You know, its when you've been held onto by any number of dirty, snotty nosed kids who fall asleep in your arms, most whom just cling on because you're warm and you smell good, that you begin to feel true love and get the point of how crucial it is to walk the talk. Jesus was all about the reality of redemption. Its a dirty, inconvenient, bloody uncomfortable process. It has absolutely nothing to do with ticking the 'annual good deed' box off on the calendar and congratulating ourselves over a latte with a christian warm fuzzy.

The Mangere and South Auckland suburbs have been like a dark, hideous boil on the city's backside for so many years, this is the land of shame for so many. My determined purpose, along with others, has been to turn the tide. To see the captivity of poverty, addiction, abuse and oppression over-turned. There is so much beauty to be found in the brokeness. We miss it all in our dry-cleaned, christian existence.

We have two huge projects in my local area that are about to shut down for lack of help. One is a safe community set up to house families that have just come out places like women's refuge and are working toward their own independence, the second is a safe house for under-age girls that have worked in prostitution and are being rehabilitated. Both these projects service the whole area of Auckland and are vital to so many families, most of whom will have nowhere to go when it all closes. As for these young girls, most will end up in foster families or back out on the streets I imagine.

So I'm asking myself, after looking deep in these eyes and staring at the bruises and the scars today, where are all the people that have talked about how great it is to be like Jesus in our community? Where are all these ones with their missional intent?

The bucket has tipped over and its oddly silent.



"Behold, at that time I will deal with all those who afflict you; I will save the limping ones and gather the outcasts and will make them a praise and a name in every land of their shame. At that time I will bring you in..I will gather you, for I will make you a name and a praise among all the nations of the earth when I reverse your captivity before your eyes, says the Lord." - Zephaniah 3v19-20