seven days+one year+this life - I'm home

It was a Monday night that I began thinking about this from a cosy, chaotic spot in the Baking Club room, which is a part of my new home in Mangere. Exhaustion had kicked me in the head days ago and a good, red wine would make me anyone's new, best, favourite friend, but in the midst I was contemplating this year in its fullness.

I'm still doing the same from the coast of Northland. The vast hush of the bush, the sea and the sands that stretch out are becoming the soundtrack for my soul here.

Here's my Home is on constant repeat. Even though I am miles away from Auckland right now. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to these songs since the release night, but I've cried every one of those times, my heart gets so stirred up..

Earthly pleasures vainly call me
I would be like Jesus
Nothing wordly shall enthrall me
I would be like Jesus..


So in my reminiscing about this year, I was talking with my Mum who reminded me of that sweet, old hymn 'When I survey the Wondrous Cross'..

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of Glory died;
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
save in the death of Christ, my God;
all the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to his blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,
sorrow and love flow mingled down.
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.

We are living in this incredible season of sorrow and love being mingled and poured out. I feel like my life is under the outpouring of this in all its intensity right now.

2009 was all about elimination. That is what suffering does to you. It strips you bare of the good, the bad, the comfortable, any pretenses and vain imaginations. It brings you face to face with raw honesty in your soul. Its that point that you realise you have nothing. Nothing. And that it is ok.

And in the midst of this place, you finally have space to embrace the Wonder that is true Hope.

So, rich was my crown of thorns this year, but it is my determination still to offer my life in 2010 to know the Love, so amazing, so divine, that demands my soul, my life, my all.


I was lost, but now I'm found
Now I know the sweetest sound
Father's love and Hope surround
Here's my Home..